The process of vulnerability is peacemaking.  You start out at a cold war (mistrusting each other) and each party tests the waters of drawing down and seeing if the other party reciprocates.  There is also the issue that some people don’t have much about themselves that will send others packing while some do (I’m of the latter category).  So the process of vulnerability is different depending on how much you have to lose by being outed.  Popular culture encourages people to be vulnerable but the stakes are so much different depending on how adverse a reaction you’d get by having it slip out.

Also lionizing vulnerability causes people to trust the first person that expresses interest in them instead of guarding their heart and vetting people carefully. The problem is the first person is often not worth their trust (trust me, I found this out the hard way). The irony is people who are more judiciously trusting are the ones that remain more trusting.