Ferkins and Gaspar were right. I have religious addiction. The only difference between religious addiction and salvation is whether there is something at the other end you are interacting with. An example if you are spending 8 hours a day on the internet but that time is spent working and making good money to provide for your household, that isn’t internet addiction. But if you are spending 8 hours a day on the internet watching video game commentary videos, that is.

If there’s something at the other end, that’s a relationship. If there’s not it’s just stalking. The reason I suffer from religious addiction is because I was raised religious and I have nothing else. People who have things that give them meaning and value don’t usually suffer from this.

We need to focus more on helping people build an image of God in their head that will make the function. With me that has gone totally awry.

Take alcohol for example. For most people it is something that helps them unwind, have fun, and connect. But for people with mental illnesses it is often an addiction and causes them to be non compliant with their medication. To the casual drinker who enjoys the bar scene those of us who can’t handle alcohol seem strange and foreign. For me this is what religion is. The voice of God told me to do all kinds of crazy stuff like drink piss, date women out of my league, and kill myself. I was exposed to every toxic trope Evangelicalism had to offer like the idea that you will have photographic memory of your entire life as you burn in hell. Plus church people treat me like shit but that has more to do with disability and negative symptoms than the religion itself.